Archive for January, 2012

I’m not normally anti-social

Really, I’m not.  Bring me to a karaoke bar and there’s not a stranger in the place.  However, when I hear someone talking or shuffling around to get the mail in the common hallway of my apartment building, I find myself sitting as still as I can.  I don’t know why I do it.  Do I think if they hear that I’m home they’ll want to be my buddy?  Unlikely.  There’s just something about being reminded that I might run into someone who lives in my building that makes me freeze.  If I have to do laundry and I hear someone in the hallway it will be put off for hours.  Heaven forbid I run into anyone.

My neighbors are not all horrible people.  There’s a friendly guy who lives across the hall who is very unobtrusive.  There’s the nice lady who lives upstairs who jumped my dead car battery once.  Of course, she also hit on my boyfriend when he was working on his car but we’ll leave that one alone for now.  Oh, and there are the musicians on the top floor who I’m pretty sure stole an amp out of my storage unit.  And the landlord’s mother.  Plus the landlord himself is in this building more than any other landlord I’ve ever had and he has no problem knocking on my door and expecting entry without any notice.  Hmmm…I can wear these jeans for one more day, right?

I think what it boils down to is that I’m a very social creature when I choose it for myself.  When I’m home, I’m HOME:  do not bother me, do not invade me, do not look upon me in my holey Jack Sparrow pajama bottoms and giant t-shirt with the makeup stains on it when I’m just trying to wash my clothes and get through this life.

Edited to add:  I went down to switch over laundry and ran right into my damn landlord.  Ugh.

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Random things I’m thinking about right now

1. Buying wide ribbon to lace my feet and ankles in to make my pumps look extra sexy.

2. Buying pumps because all my cute shoes are open-toed and strappy, thereby negating the awesomeness of the aforementioned wide ribbon.

3. John Travolta has become sort of a punchline these days but I swear to all you young’uns, he used to be blisteringly hot.  Even “Look Who’s Talking” era Travolta had sex appeal if you watch it with the sound down.

4. I’m going to wear the makeup from Madonna’s “Justify My Love” video everywhere I go for the next week.

Strawberry Shake Fail

When making strawberry shakes in a blender, one doesn’t need to add milk because the water in the strawberries will add enough liquid.  Also, if one is using vanilla ice cream, adding sugar will be fully unnecessary.

I’m not good at this kitchen appliance thing.  I blame not having gotten married in my 20’s.  No bridal registry, no kitchen full of nifty gadgets that I should have mastered by now.

Television Shows I Should Pitch (but probably never will) Part 1

Douchebag Rehab

Sort of like “Intervention.”  A group of people who are related to, work with, or are otherwise regularly affected by a complete douchebag gather together and give him the ultimatum to undergo a 90 day intensive douchebag rehabilitation program or risk alienation.  They each present a statement in the ways his douchebaggery has negatively impacted their lives and tainted all their interactions with him.  If he fails to complete the program or relapses inside the first year, he will be sterilized so he cannot raise douchebags of his own.

Potential channel?  Logo, although the channel is SHOULD be on is Spike…to serve as a terrible warning.