Archive for December, 2012

Once seen, it cannot be unseen.

One day near the beginning of the retail holiday season I was providing vendor support for a luxury cosmetics line.  This basically means they hired me to come in to a store for the day as an extra pair of hands to do & sell makeup during a department-wide event.  I knew would see not only a lot of customers but a lot of former peers that I do not see as frequently these days, so I made a special effort.  I put in a strategically messy top bun with little face-framing tendrils.  I did my face with a holiday smoky eye and a bold lip color.  I wore a very fitted, black, short-sleeve turtleneck, a short-sleeve open knit sweater with no buttons, slim pants, and platform mary janes.  I felt very stylish as I left the house.

A huge pet peeve of mine is makeup staff spending large chunks of time primping themselves in the mirror at work instead of helping the customers primp, which is what we are there for.  Once or twice per shift, I’ll glance in a mirror to make sure I’m not a smudged, hot mess and that is about it.  My shift was busy and–as predicted–I saw a lot of people I knew.  I was smiling my fool head off, talking a lot, and doing faces.  I stopped about two hours in to check my face and I learned an inescapable truth that I’m now going to pass along to you:

There is a very fine line between looking chic and looking like someone’s crazy Aunt Phyllis.

That line is lipstick on your teeth.



I think it would be terribly cute if the next person to be “Zombie Amy Winehouse” for a costumed occasion would also make the famous pin-up girl on her arm–which I’m told by hardcore Zombie Amy affocionados separates the good costumes from the bad– into a zombie as well.


Doofy & pointless things I (and probably only I) think it would be funny to do #34:

I want to go on Omegle, have a brief conversation about nothing, and sign off like someone’s mom, reminding them not to talk to strangers.