Our Own Worst Critics

A lovely 18 year old girl sat in my chair today and asked for full coverage foundation. I asked her what she was covering up, because her skin was beautiful.  She said, “Scars and grossness.”  I handed her the mirror and asked her to show me what she meant because, honestly, I couldn’t see them.  She pointed to places I really had to lean in to see, and even then they were hardly anything.  I said, “You realize you’re the only one who can see those, right?”  She spent the next ten minutes calling herself 10 variations of “ugly,” apologizing I had to “fix” her, etc.  At one point she asked me to feel her “gross skin,” and I swear to you, I have clients who buy $200 serums to get that amazing skin texture for themselves.  I said what I could in those ten minutes to do my part to tell her otherwise but, as someone who struggles with self-image, I know it will not make much of a difference.

Who told her she was ugly?  How is she walking around with that beautiful face and skin, thinking she’s hideous?  She was pointing out things to me in the mirror that I swear weren’t even there.

We are our own worst critics.  These awful self-critiques–we wouldn’t say them to anyone we loved, so why on earth do we think it is acceptable to say these things to ourselves?

Broke my heart, not only because of the way she feels, but because I was her when I was 18, too.  If I’m honest, I’m still her, all too frequently.

Love yourselves, my friends.

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