Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

You Heard It Here First: Highlight Stacking

Okay, friends. I’ve just coined the term “highlight stacking” and yes, the technique (which is not as new as this afternoon’s term coinage) is just as extra as it sounds. Also, according to Instagram, I’m the first one that has hashtagged it, so if you hear/read it, you’ll know it came from me!

What You Water Will Grow

I’ll never get over how beauty brands treat “influencers” so much better than their own employees.

Non-Touring? Give Me A Non-Break.

Don’t buy into the nonsense of new buzzwords to describe things that have been around forever. You know what “non-touring” is? Basic natural coverage foundation with a touch of highlighter, i.e. the stuff about 60% of my clients have been doing for years…and also what the good MUAs have been trying to tell people was best for their daily routine for the past year when they’ve been insisting, “but they used three contour products on Instagram!”

Next Level That Eye Game

Anyone who has been in my orbit while I have talked about makeup has surely heard me passionately extol the virtues of shadow primer. Though there are a whole range of high end primers that work quite well (Too Faced Shadow Insurance, Urban Decay Primer Potion, etc.), this is one of those cases where a drugstore/bargain buy can actually keep up with the big girls. Nyx’s Proof It eye shadow primer holds its own with all my former department store favorites for boosting the pigment and wear of your powder eye shadows. It is tough to beat that level of performance for $6.99 a tube at Ulta…and it is often buy one get one 50% off there, too (plus Ulta always has a $3.50 off $10 or $15 coupon to stack).
If you do not regularly use–or have never used–a shadow primer with your eye shadows, you are depriving yourself and your shadows peak performance and wear. Believe me now and thank me later.

Here’s The Thing

In that couple hours leading up to a show, in the venue, I’m the nervous band manager.  I wonder, “Is anyone going to be here tonight?  Will our people show up?  Will the bar’s regulars show up?  Does this bar even have any regulars? Is the bar going to make any money?  Will we have enough bodies in the room to be asked back?”  I fret, posting my last bits of promotion (really, barely veiled pleas) on my social media.

In that couple hours leading up to a show, in the venue, my social anxiety is ramped up to a million.  I don’t have a role during this time, not really, not after we confirm whether or not the band gets a comp tab and the bar manager for the night lets me know whatever it is I need to know.  I often sit there by myself, painfully aware there is not much for me to do but watch the sound person and the band get set.  Slouching into myself, I feel particularly self-conscious sitting there because…

In that couple hours leading up to a show, in the venue, I’m 41, fat, overdressed at least from the waist down, and I always have on a ton of makeup and glitter.  It doesn’t seem to matter which room we are playing; I look out of place.  When I have to go to the bathroom or when I walk through the venue, I imagine I can feel the eyes of the patrons and staff alike on me, though it might just be my social anxiety kicking up again.

In the last 30 minutes leading up to a show, in the venue, I’ve changed into the rest of my outfit, always topped by giant feather pigtails and a bright lip color.  This time I know there are eyes on me Sometimes they are curious, other times they are rolling.  “Who the hell is that and who does she think she is?”

Up to the very last minute leading up to a show, in the venue, I feel it all–I feel anxious, I feel fat, I feel old, and I feel conspicuous.

HOWEVER

After soundcheck, when it is time to do this for real, I look out into the venue and I think, “Just you wait, motherfuckers.”  I’m energized, I’m gorgeous, and I AM conspicuous because damn right I am.

Because when that show starts, that stage is mine.  This band?  It is mine.  This microphone?  Sure as fuck is mine…and you’re about to find out why.

“Big Mistake. Big…Huge!”

The story about Leslie Jones trying to get a dress for her big “Ghostbusters” premiere broke my heart when it first came out.  Leslie took her hurt and frustration to Twitter because designers didn’t want to dress her because she was not their sample size. Christian Siriano stepped up and she was gorgeous in his gown. Here are photos of her happy ending. I would have loved to have done her face.

Edited to add this lovely triptych from Siriano’s Instagram-

csiriano

I wonder if the style of the dress was a sly homage to the opera dress in “Pretty Woman,” winking at Vivian taunting the shopgirls who wouldn’t help her.

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How NOT To Contour For Your Special Occasion

Anyone who has sat in my chair and uttered the word “contour” knows how I feel about it. If you’re not careful, that carved out cheekbone turns into a distracting, “what was she thinking” line unless you are at just the right angle and/or in a specific light.

Here’s a good case in point: Michelle Visage, obviously painted and contoured for the purpose of shooting this video.  However, due to the conversational nature of this piece, she is moving her head and chatting, much like any normal person does when they go out. Notice how in some shots she has a carefully sculpted cheek, while in others she has a bronze streak on her face?  The next time you want (or want your artist ) to do the Instagram Contour to do anything other than be in a fixed set of positions, remember this and Just Say No™