Non-Touring? Give Me A Non-Break.

Don’t buy into the nonsense of new buzzwords to describe things that have been around forever. You know what “non-touring” is? Basic natural coverage foundation with a touch of highlighter, i.e. the stuff about 60% of my clients have been doing for years…and also what the good MUAs have been trying to tell people was best for their daily routine for the past year when they’ve been insisting, “but they used three contour products on Instagram!”

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Feeling Dull, Doll?

Has your makeup been looking dull lately?  Or perhaps your skin itself isn’t giving you life?  Here are a couple quick things you can do to give yourself a boost.

Exfoliate Your Skin

Dry, textured makeup is often the result of uneven skin.  Everyone–oily to dry (especially dry)–can benefit from exfoliation 1-3 times a week. For best results–

  • Take care not to use anything with crushed seeds/pits, which have jagged edges to potentially damage the skin.
  • Do not use hot water, which can break capillaries and cause long term redness.
  • Do not scrub hard.  The particles or chemicals will do their job without you having to jam them into your skin.  If you are too rough, you’ll wind up with broken capillaries and long term redness.

Double Moisturize

Put on your moisturizer and touch your face in 5-10 minutes.  Does it feel soft and supple?  Or does it feel dry, like you put nothing on?  If it is the latter, you might benefit from some double moisturization.

  • Applying a serum underneath your regular moisturizer will add moisture benefits as well as adding to the vitamins and protectants going into your skin.
  • Not everyone is a serum person, especially due to the additional expense.  If a serum is not feasible in your life at the moment, apply a second dose of your moisturizer within 5-10 minutes or so of the first round.
  • You might follow the Korean way of moisturizing and apply one layer of moisture lotion followed by a layer of a more emollient cream.  This mimics the way your skin protects itself naturally.
  • Oily skin, please remember that oil isn’t water.  You can be slick and still be thirsty.  In fact, thirsty skin will overproduce oil to overcompensate, leading to more issues.  Give your skin a drink.

Fake It Until You Make It, Baby

Choose a primer with a glow.  Even if you aren’t wearing makeup for the day, a primer with radiance is going to add that extra boost of freshness and give your face a healthy look.  Most of the quality primers also contain extra skin ingredients and environmental protection, so you will also be playing the long game on having radiant skin.

Adding even one of these steps will help pep up unenthusiastic skin.  Adding two or all three will next-level your look.  Remember:  happy, hydrated skin will make all of your makeup appear fresher.

Not Very Legndary

I think men in makeup ads are long overdue. In fact, I believe for many young men and/or genderfluid individuals, representation can be literally life-saving. However, if a company is going to hire a personality (as opposed to a model), it is incredibly unfortunate they would hire a misogynistic bully. Manny MUA? Bully. His BFF Jeffree Star? Racist bully.

There are so many other guys out there doing beautiful faces who also have beautiful souls, Maybelline. Wish you would have given one of them a chance.

Next Level That Eye Game

Anyone who has been in my orbit while I have talked about makeup has surely heard me passionately extol the virtues of shadow primer. Though there are a whole range of high end primers that work quite well (Too Faced Shadow Insurance, Urban Decay Primer Potion, etc.), this is one of those cases where a drugstore/bargain buy can actually keep up with the big girls. Nyx’s Proof It eye shadow primer holds its own with all my former department store favorites for boosting the pigment and wear of your powder eye shadows. It is tough to beat that level of performance for $6.99 a tube at Ulta…and it is often buy one get one 50% off there, too (plus Ulta always has a $3.50 off $10 or $15 coupon to stack).
If you do not regularly use–or have never used–a shadow primer with your eye shadows, you are depriving yourself and your shadows peak performance and wear. Believe me now and thank me later.

Here’s The Thing

In that couple hours leading up to a show, in the venue, I’m the nervous band manager.  I wonder, “Is anyone going to be here tonight?  Will our people show up?  Will the bar’s regulars show up?  Does this bar even have any regulars? Is the bar going to make any money?  Will we have enough bodies in the room to be asked back?”  I fret, posting my last bits of promotion (really, barely veiled pleas) on my social media.

In that couple hours leading up to a show, in the venue, my social anxiety is ramped up to a million.  I don’t have a role during this time, not really, not after we confirm whether or not the band gets a comp tab and the bar manager for the night lets me know whatever it is I need to know.  I often sit there by myself, painfully aware there is not much for me to do but watch the sound person and the band get set.  Slouching into myself, I feel particularly self-conscious sitting there because…

In that couple hours leading up to a show, in the venue, I’m 41, fat, overdressed at least from the waist down, and I always have on a ton of makeup and glitter.  It doesn’t seem to matter which room we are playing; I look out of place.  When I have to go to the bathroom or when I walk through the venue, I imagine I can feel the eyes of the patrons and staff alike on me, though it might just be my social anxiety kicking up again.

In the last 30 minutes leading up to a show, in the venue, I’ve changed into the rest of my outfit, always topped by giant feather pigtails and a bright lip color.  This time I know there are eyes on me Sometimes they are curious, other times they are rolling.  “Who the hell is that and who does she think she is?”

Up to the very last minute leading up to a show, in the venue, I feel it all–I feel anxious, I feel fat, I feel old, and I feel conspicuous.

HOWEVER

After soundcheck, when it is time to do this for real, I look out into the venue and I think, “Just you wait, motherfuckers.”  I’m energized, I’m gorgeous, and I AM conspicuous because damn right I am.

Because when that show starts, that stage is mine.  This band?  It is mine.  This microphone?  Sure as fuck is mine…and you’re about to find out why.

“Big Mistake. Big…Huge!”

The story about Leslie Jones trying to get a dress for her big “Ghostbusters” premiere broke my heart when it first came out.  Leslie took her hurt and frustration to Twitter because designers didn’t want to dress her because she was not their sample size. Christian Siriano stepped up and she was gorgeous in his gown. Here are photos of her happy ending. I would have loved to have done her face.

Edited to add this lovely triptych from Siriano’s Instagram-

csiriano

I wonder if the style of the dress was a sly homage to the opera dress in “Pretty Woman,” winking at Vivian taunting the shopgirls who wouldn’t help her.

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Busted!

Uh-oh, Rodan + Fields: Busted!

ramona singer

http://jezebel.com/ramona-singer-includes-the-instructions-for-her-sponsor-1783362319

Never doubt for a minute this is how your Instagram beauty sausage is made. Morphe, Colourpop, Rodan + Fields, Gerard Cosmetics, and so much more–your big name faves who can’t rave enough about lines whose only consistence is inconsistence (at best) have had their words bought for them. Be a wary consumer.

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