People frequently ask me what I think about various Insta/YouTube trends. This week’s request for the Hot Take™ is the squiggle brows, but there have been many in the past and will be many more to come. Basically, here is how I see such things–
1) If it is merely for clickbait, borne of the desperation of influencers to fill space/attempt to engineer the Next Big Thing (because there is nothing new under the sun), or dangerous in either ingredient or technique, I‘m probably rolling my eyes and giving a hard pass. Putting beauty blenders in condoms, using (insert object here) for random makeup application, giving a new name to an existing technique (ahem, strobing), using flour for powder, using random objects to try and create an eye wing, crushing oreos into mascara–all these things fall under that umbrella of “Baby, NO.”
2) If it is a look that is artistic, expressive, fun, creepy, etc. (squiggle brows, blue lips, glitter blush, metallic highlighter, unicorn looks, fx makeup, faded/feathered goth lips, etc), I’m pretty much in the camp of, “do your thing.” I’m all in for makeup as art and self-expression. Do it up, buttercup. If they are staring, you probably did it right.
3) If it is something you can’t do yourself but you’re going to side-eye and harangue your poor makeup artist if they don’t do it “JUST LIKE (insert name here) DOES ON THEIR CHANNEL!” then, again, baby no. Beauty makeup artists know their craft and know what beauty belongs in front of a backdrop/ring light in controlled positions vs. what is going to make you look beautiful when it moves. Furthermore, if you’re doing this nonsense in a store, double shame on you. Retail artists are there to sell makeup and bringing in your squiggle brows to waste 30 minutes of their Saturday when they have sales goals is just rude. If you want to squiggle, sugar, squiggle all day long…but leave the professionals and the sales people alone.
Overheard in the beauty department, uttered by a high-ranking artist from a makeup brand I know you all know:
“Ask her what her favorite designer is. If she doesn’t have a favorite designer, well, she probably has no business wearing (makeup brand redacted), but we’ll sell her stuff anyway.”
I do not possess the vocabulary to adequately express to you how horrified I was.
Though I heard this particular fellow say this rather audaciously on the selling floor, I can name you at LEAST two other brands who have trainers and/or ambassadors who have said things like that behind closed doors.
It is this kind of unconscionable snobbery that is part of driving consumers to buy online. We all want to feel pretty and not be judged. The sad part is that there is some sort of longstanding badge of honor to be exclusive, especially among the executives in the cosmetics industry, so this sort of thinking winds up being encouraged instead of re-educated…then brands wonder why they aren’t getting their increases.
Including people feels a hell of a lot better than excluding them–on ALL sides.
Okay, friends. I will not be buying any more Jeffree Star products. I can no longer keep the person separate from his brand to justify lining his pockets. I thought he had changed since his MySpace days–who wants anything they did when they were 19 to define who they are forever?–but sometimes awful people just get older without actually growing up.
I made excuses because I DO like his products, cringing but trying to explain away how awful he talks about women (telling that other awful YouTube bully, MannyMUA, how terrible vaginas smell). I knew better–and knew I knew better–but chalked it up to his persona, which was foolish of me because it wasn’t even a persona I liked. I fully and shamefully admit I sold a corner of my moral real estate for the price of a cool green lipstick and a gleaming white highlighter. In the end, though, you all know I despise that Mean Girl (and Mean Boy) “Bitches ain’t shit” mentality and my conscience won. I can’t do it anymore.
This video was the scale tipper for me–you can skip the review and start in at 19:44 to get some bullet points about him being rude, racist, and sexist–ALL with proof (much of it video) to back it up. A further Google search goes down a deep, deep rabbit hole of things worse than Stephanie’s examples. Oof.
I’ve expunged mentions of him (where I could find them; some are likely buried) on my various Social Media accounts so I’m no longer actively promoting him.
I apologize to any of my friends who were already aware of his hateful, problematic nature and were quietly offended by my effusive love of his lipsticks and highlighters. Your feelings are worth more than those.
I just saw an article on a popular magazine’s website full of before/afters on changing one’s hairstyle to “look younger.” I’m not linking you to it because all the “afters” were awful! They were plain, frumpy, homogenized, and sexless. Why must women’s beauty media do this to other women? Why must women be encouraged to cast off their vibrancy once they hit 35, even within the same five pages wherein they purport to do the opposite? No…just NO. You are allowed to have full, bouncy hair if you want it, just like you are allowed to wear a smoky eye. We are adults. We can eat cake for breakfast and we can wear burgundy lips if we want to.
I don’t know what these YouTubers/bloggers see in the ColourPop Cosmetics shadows/highlighters that has them raving–unless it is simply more “Product For Promotion” tactics. I just unwrapped my first order and each piece was broken, shrunken, or looked pre-used.
The Tea Party only looks this “good” because I pressed it back into pot–it arrived in 3 pieces. The Smokin’ Whistles highlighter and Swan do not even fit the pan and the highlighter came looking like someone had been into it already. I hadn’t touched any of these except the Tea Party and the photo was taken literally five minutes after my order was unwrapped.
The shadows–which a quick Google search will show sponsored blogger after blogger raving about the amazing color payoff–are disappointingly sheer. They are more like face highlighters.
The Ultra Matte liquid lipsticks didn’t feel like any sort of 2015 technology was involved in them at all. They feel like the super dry, chalky mattes of the 90s. If you talk while wearing them, they start to get patchy where bits are powdering and crumbling off. There are many better, more comfortable, longer wearing mattes and indelibles available.
The Lippie Stix I ordered was the best product of the bunch, but it didn’t have far to go to beat the other items. This was the only thing I’d buy again.
I’m giving major league side-eye to anyone giving glowing reviews of these on social media. Take them with a huge grain of salt. Seems Colour Pop spent more time developing their viral marketing and romancing Youtube/Instagrammers with free products than they did on the products themselves.
No wonder this company doesn’t offer returns. They’d be out of business.
I’ve gotten the opportunity to try the NUDE Skincare Detox Brightening Fizzy Powder Wash (jeez, say that 5 times fast). The first attempt has been an interesting experience…sort of like Alka Seltzer for the face. We’ll see if it is just an expensive gimmick or if it truly goes the distance as far as the results go. Those of you who have sat in my chair know how much I carry on about exfoliating the skin.
Speaking of things I’ve been testing, I’ve been impressed with the new Urban Decay Cosmetics Revolution High-Color lip gloss. The applicator doesn’t do it any favors (tends to push around the color thinly), and it does not look as wet and glossy as it appears in the photos (hardly any do these days), but I can tell you that when they say it stays in the lines, it really, truly does. I avoid dark lip glosses because they all seem to want to run up my nose, but so far I’ve tried two of these and they absolutely stay right where you put them. They also have a nice color payoff–not as sheer as a regular gloss, but not as full coverage as your typical lipstick. For the first time ever, I can actually buy a dark lip gloss!
The original video for “Too Funky” slayed me when I saw it all those years ago–the fashion, the hairstyles, Mugler’s designs, and the supermodels simply made all my hair stand on end in the most delightful way. I’ll never get over Linda Evangelista, who is still one of my all-time faves.
Apparently, a longer version of the “Too Funky” video was also shot all those years ago (we won’t say how many) and has been leaked/released for our enjoyment. I’m re-living the excitement all over again. I’m truly hoping this whole 90s revival we are seeing includes this sort of thing as well as the grunge. I’ll be doing my part with lipstick, liner, and lashes.
L’oreal Colour Caresse Shine Stain, $9.99 at most retailers, frequently can be found “Buy one, get one half off” at one of the drugstores–
Pros: Good color payoff (like a regular lipstick), nice shine, nice initial selection of colors, very long wear time.
Cons: Sticky on the lips, second day dryness. I was red-rimmed and sore after two days in a row of wear even though I sleep in various shea butter lip treatments. The stickiness gives one a false sense of security that the lips are not dry, when in fact they are in worse shape than even a bare lip. One would have to be vigilant about keeping the lips glossed with a second product to not have this outcome.
Edited to add: Six days later I’m STILL sore and have a chapped feeling.
YSL Glossy Stain, $32 in department stores and online–
Pros: Bold color payoff that was still sheer–sort of like looking at the lips through a bright piece of jello (could also be a “con” depending on your needs), good selection of colors with the new shade extensions available now, the only stains I’ve ever seen to offer shades lighter than natural lip color, very long stain time even after the gloss wears down, very light feeling on the lips.
Cons: Once the gloss wears off, you will have the sensation of bare lips and will need to apply a gloss or something moist to the top to maintain supple feeling. HOWEVER, the color is still absolutely there so it isn’t a total “con.”
Advantage: It was nearly a tie except for the soreness that came after two days of wear. The price point of the L’oreal makes it more of a contender but the YSL Glossy Stain is made with a quality that your lips will notice the day after. They have the same parent company but the L’oreal is absolutely NOT an exact clone with a different label. Neither are particularly glossy, though. Just moist. Gloss hounds will absolutely want to gloss on top of them.
Break An Egg For Me 